Couples who have children and are seeking a divorce usually are more concerned about custody matters than financial issues, like dividing property or debt. That fact is not surprising. Once a divorce is filed, the court has the power to make decisions concerning the children. That power stays with the court until a child reaches 18 years of age. For many divorcing parents, giving that power to the court is more than a little frightening.
It is important that divorcing parents find legal counsel they can trust to help the court establish parenting plans that really are child-centered and in the best interests of the children.
How will the court know what it is in the best interests of the children? Your divorce attorney will explain the factors that the court will consider in making decisions affecting the children and will help create a parenting time schedule that will combine the parent's work schedules, the children's school activities, and holidays. The parenting plan will address the issues of decision-making concerning important decisions, such as medical, educational, or religious decisions.
Most countries have guidelines that the court will consider in determining the allocation of parenting time and holiday time. However, if a parenting plan is formulated and submitted to the court on behalf of the parents, a presumption exists that the parent's plan is in the best interests of the children. Thus, it will usually be adopted by the court.
Parents who are divorcing have many questions. Where should the children live? Are the children allowed to choose where they live? Should the children be exposed to parents' new relationships? Who will get child support? Who buys the children clothes? Answering these and all other questions that are important to a divorcing parent should also be important to a divorce attorney.
Meanwhile, is there anything that parents can do to help lessen the impact of an impending divorce on their children? YES.
- Never disparage your spouse in front of your children. To protect your children's self-esteem, remember that they are "part mom" and "part dad".
- Do not use your children to deliver messages between you and your spouse.
- Reassure your children that they are loved and the divorce is not their fault.
- If at all possible, do not uproot your children. Stability in their residence and school helps lessen the trauma of their parents' divorce.
Divorce can be a long and emotional process. Acquiring the services of a good divorce attorney will be essential to helping a divorcing parent get through a difficult time.
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